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Update on Script Idea

I’ve posted a new concept in the google docs scriptwriting section. Here it is anyway.

JWC SCRIPT IDEA- by Tom Tiernan

OBJECTIVE OF TRAVEL BY CHARACTERS- TC has signed a big contract with a major publisher and wants to tell everyone in person at the same time. He has invited them to his estate in Edison.

GENRE: Screwball Comedy, sort of. All of the people in the story have enormous trouble getting to TC’s house, except one of them.

CHARACTERS:

Jerry. He is on his way from Hollywood, Florida. He has no troubles or delays during his entire trip. He is the first person to get to TC’s.

Joleen. She is coming from Bedminster. Gets stuck in massive traffic jam on Rt. 287.

Ken. Finishes his sports podcast in Troy, NY. Gets re-routed from Tappan Zee Bridge into Manhattan.

Gabriel is attending a Sunset Service at Ocean City, MD. Takes the Lewes Ferry heading to Cape May. Ferry breaks down in mid-ocean.

Morty is in Brooklyn at a Jazz & Poetry Symposium. He is conducting “Take Five” at 8 pm and expects to hop on a train to Edison. A double suicide at Rahway delays the train between stations.

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I like it… couldn’t we combine it together? What we have so far?

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Maybe there’s some rivalry going on and jealousy. One of the characters gets murdered as they get to TC’s house. We don’t see who is killed or who done it.

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Ok I’m having a NYE party. Or perhaps the host of the party isn’t apparent, just a location and time. Everyone is asked to dress as their favorite character from a book. Let’s not focus too much on the travel to the party but the events of the day before leaving. Let’s each pick a single group of characters or individual invited and develop the character description. Can we start with that?

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I disagree. The fun of the piece is the various obstacles and challenges that the people go through to get to their destination. Once they get there, the story will come to a halt. Keeping things moving will keep the viewer engaged. Film is about movement, and our first work should have lots of it.

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This is helpful.
I’m thinking that the literal and figurative might help me get started generating material. (It looks like I’ll be assigned the female character, so I’ll suppose that I am Gemma or Jolene here.)
I’d make her literal problems getting to the party - figuratively expressing the challenges she (or I) faced in the construction of the text or even in the marketing of it. With that, Gemma "gets lost: on the way, for example. Another example might be that a character got “caught in traffic” can’t “see past the huge trucks (obstacles)” as he or she had writer’s block, for example. Maybe the character just has too little time to devote to it. A malfunctioning GPS can signify the technology issues that I am constantly having… misplacing my notes and/or losing files.
Making associations between the characters literal problems and my own with writing might help me more precisely imagine the scenes.

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Am going to organize what we have. Try to break it up into acts, n take it from there

Okay
Maybe we should have different kinds of problems though… you know? We shouldn’t all have flat tires…
Like Gemma getting lost works for me. I can undermine the stereotype of a woman getting lost and then present it…
Maybe Tom would like to get into tech issues…?
Maybe you or Ben could be having a hard time pulling yourself away from a sports event or gaming session…, no?
:slight_smile:
Just ideas here…

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I’m having a muse-flash, Ricky.
I’m thinking that tech-related issues might be worth exploring - since everyone’s on Zoom or Meet and since everyone’s freaked out by this all-digital world. (How is it that I had speak with 125 people through Zoom over the course of the day and not be able to print anything ever?)
Since this is a script and is based on dialogue, doesn’t everyone have to be on the phone talking about the events - and/or on Zoom or Meet while they’re getting to the party?

  1. Maybe we look into the challenges getting to the party… what kinds?
  2. Maybe everyone uses tech and also has a tech issue, but different kinds of issues?
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TC: if we start with the party, there’d have to be an argument or something to move the plot. External conflicts are more inclined to be warmhearted or charming. Fights between people are kind of serious, I’m thinking, and not really charming…

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Ben and I are working on our parts together, weaving our characters’ stories. We’ve gotten a few pages done and uploaded to Drive. What we have can be cut between other stories and reworked slightly to address the other characters’ timelines and happenings, and even locations.

Here’s the link:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1foDVdR8_H4xkC7VaVSMMU6I9xNm0bah9/view?usp=sharing

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Hi Michael and Ben,
I like the script. Nicely done. I appreciate you guys starting itself and also starting strong! I’m curious to know how long it took you two…to come up with it.
So Im thinking about riffing off the script, but I cant write for the happy-homemaker role. Gemma seems happy homemaker to me. . I have no problem with a loving mother-like character in the story. I’m just not into writing it. Maybe leave Gemma like that and put… a Jolene into the story?
J.

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Now we’re cooking! :grin:

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I agree, I’m just saying the obstacles don’t all have to be travel related. Let’s think of the obstacles for our own characters according to their character description. This can be more personalized

I agree

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Maybe she’s not a happy homemaker. Maybe she’s a career driven business woman who doesn’t know a teaspoon from a tablespoon. Yet she volunteered her house for this party and because of her busy, hectic life, hasn’t had time to prepare. So she is, 12 hours before people are supposed to start showing up to her home for a big event and she needs to put something together.

There’s your conflict. That could be very interesting.

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These ideas will work really well. The person with writer’s block stuck in traffic. the person who’s selling everything he’s submitted having no problems getting to the mansion. the person with a broken or outdated GPS getting lost as someone whose stories need a lot of editing to make sense. The sportscaster who can’t get through a single traffic light without it turning red, thereby losing. The person who can’t stop playing his Jazz piece, signifying someone who is very verbose and can’t see it.

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Let’s make this a happy film. The arguments will slow things down. Getting lost will provide some humor and suspense.

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Yes, I like Gemma, a caring Gemma at the center of the story could be useful. If everyone’s late, she could be having her own breakdown, worried that the food is getting cold or that the balloons are sagging. I was thinking Gemma was the crazy side of caring, a little over bearing with a tendency to micromanage. I think her friend, Jolene, is also late. And Jolene was supposed to be there to help her with the party.
If you guys have the two guy friends , maybe I’ll work on the two girlfriends Jolene and Gemma.

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I posted this on comments, but maybe we should talk here…

Final Product Check: how would we represent the airport, airplane, city street scenes? (If we are animating, can these scenes be pictures or generic videos?) It takes time to stage a scene. I like the script and the characters, but am wondering about the rental car at the kiosk. Isn’t it more typical for a friend to pick someone up at an airport? Can’t Jack just be picking up his friend and then, still get a flat?

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